TROUBLE IN PARADISE

Google Images Photo

Google Images Photo

Abby Soriano, Staff Writer

There is a big problem in today’s society. Men clearly do not understand that they have to ask their independent girlfriend to be their Valentine. Let me tell you a story of a foolish man and a petty girlfriend. 

The man was fresh out of high school. Let us call him…Brandonian. Brandonian was a simple man, like most, having little thoughts in his head. He decided that he was going to surprise his new girlfriend with a romantic dinner date, and her name was Angelica. She was getting a little worried since the big day was only twenty-four hours away. The logical woman she was, Angelica decided that she needed a backup plan. She had a close buddy named Derek she called for emergencies. 

 

“I have a situation…” 

“It’s two in the morning, what on Earth do you want?”

“Brandonian has not asked me to be his Valentine, he needs punishment.”“Oh my god, you are such a drama queen.”

“So basically…”

 

“The” Day

The scene starts off quiet, with Brandonian pretending to forget what day it is, for dramatic effect, obviously. That was a bad idea. Angelica was absolutely astounded by this man’s audacity. The gracious woman she was, she decided to give this poor man a hint. 

 

“Anything exciting planned today? 

“NO, WHY WOULD YOU ASK?”

“Uh- just wondering, I guess.”

 

Getting the dinner ready without her knowing was harder than Brandonian anticipated. He decided that the best plan of action would be to just call a fancy restaurant. Easy peasy. 

 

“Um yes, hello, I would just like to make a reservation for 6:30 tonight, preferably a booth if you know what I mean.” 

“Sir, do you know what day it is? You must be bonkers if you think any restaurant would have been able to give you a reservation at all this month.”

 

Now what would poor Brandonian do? I will tell you what he did; he decided that the only way he could make it up to her was to take her on a picnic *dun dun dun*. Brandonian went to call Angelica, but she didn’t answer, so he tried again. Nothing. He was starting to get worried. Angelica had already left the house for “errands.” 

Finally Brandonian was able to form one actual decent thought. He could just call Derek, his homie… his bro. 

 

“Derek, I need your help. My surprise date with Angelica has completely failed.”

“Oh uh, how about you come over at approximately 4:30 P.M. and we can talk about it…yeah.” 

“You don’t think that’s too late?” 

“Nooooo, not at all.”

 

Brandonian was ready. He was dressed up like every other dude was. A nice dress shirt and a couple brushes through the hair. When he opened the door he was greeted by the one and only Angelica. She was dressed, well, smokin’ hot. Why was she at Dereks??? Was she cheating on Brandonian? 

 

“What are you doing here?” Angelica asked. 

“I’m here to have a talk with Derek. What are YOU doing here?”

“Spending time with Derek because you never asked me to be your Valentine!”

“I was trying to surprise yo-”

 

Suddenly Derek walked into the room. His luscious hair moved through a slight breeze. His tux was a sage green, imprinted with lace designs. He was beautiful.

 

“Derek, you look…gorgeous,” Brandonian and Angelica spoke in unison. 

“How about we all spend Valentine’s Day together,” Derek spoke with such grace in his tone.

 

The rest of the evening was spent laughing and admiring Derek in his captivating outfit. I mean, not asking your partner may not be a big deal to you, but you could end up in a silly situation. Proceed with caution.